Am I Settling?

This upcoming school year will be my fourth year as a high school teacher, and I have to admit that career-wise, this is not where I thought I would be at age twenty-seven. I guess I thought I would be doing something more extraordinary by now, but I'm not sure what I thought that grand profession might be. As I begin preparing for the next school year (yes, I am already making plans in July), I find myself trying to think ahead - not just about how I can do The Odyssey differently or how to make my history classes more engaging - but I try to see myself doing anything else other than working with high school students.  And I can't. But is my feeling of permanence in secondary education a true passion for the craft of teaching, or is it complacency and fear?

I remember when I first started teaching, lots of people, including my family and mentors from undergrad, would tell me that teaching high school is a reasonable place to start, but I should aim higher.  I could be a college professor (if I can ever get into a doctoral program!) at some prestigious university instead of teaching Romeo and Juliet to ninth graders, and part of me still holds on to this notion.  At the same time, I actually like working with teenagers.  Yes, they are immature and awkward, but most of them are hungry for guidance. After all, wouldn't you want someone who actually cares about your children teaching and advising them? 

Maybe I started teaching "by accident," but I am not still teaching by default.  There are lots of jobs that I'm qualified to do.  And while there are parts of teaching that make jumping off of a cliff seem like an inviting endeavor, I enjoy what I do on most days.  So, am I settling? Maybe to some people I am.  I mean sometimes I do miss researching and reading theory (and I'm not being sarcastic - I LOVE theory), but I like teaching, and word around campus is that I'm doing a pretty good job.  Most importantly, I'm happy. 

Reflections on the 15th Anniversary of Biggie's Death

I don't think I have blogged at all in 2012. I haven't really had a lot to say until now. Today is March 9, 2012 - the fifteenth anniversary of Notorious B.I.G.'s death, and I have seen so many facebook status updates and posts about him and how great of a rapper he was. While I'm not disputing any of these claims, the remembrance of Biggie brings about mixed feelings for me.

I can definitely remember what I was doing when I found out that B.I.G. had been murdered. I was in my sixth grade science class. In my middle school, we used to watch this news broadcast called Channel One. That day, Channel One did a breaking news story about how Biggie had been murdered. I was shocked and sad that he had been killed, but I didn't really understand how big of a deal his death was until later in my life. After all, I was an 11 year old who probably shouldn't have been listening to B.I.G. in the first place. As an adult, I listen to some of his songs bobbing my head and remembering the days when I didn't really listen to rap like that, but how I would dance along to the occasional Biggie song. I listen to some of his other songs cringing, wondering how I (or anyone) could really feel comfortable rapping along with those lyrics.

Even though "I got mad love" for Biggie, seeing all of these posts about B.I.G. makes me wonder...Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with remembering and celebrating such an accomplished artist, and I'm not going to pretend like I wouldn't ride around Richmond blasting some Biggie right now. But how many people who are posting about B.I.G. today posted ANYTHING celebratory about black artists or ANY black person last month, Black History Month? Who is going to post something in memory of a black woman tomorrow in honor of Women's History Month? Who even knew that March is Women's History Month? Who are the most influential black intellectuals right now? What issues are they bringing to the forefront? What are the most salient issues facing black people in our communities, and who's addressing these issues?

Better yet, why is it that, other than the Obamas and maybe Blue Ivy, the only people we (and by we I mean black people) celebrate are dead?

I'm not trying to pretend like I'm all righteous either; most of my status updates amount to my venting about my job. And I'm not asking anyone to stop posting about Notorious B.I.G. I'm happy for him and his family that he was able to make such a great impact on the world, and I am genuinely saddened by the fact that he died so young and in such a viscous way. Knowing about Biggie's life makes me respect him a lot more. I also realize that some people will argue that today is Biggie's day, so we should focus on him. I agree.

All I'm asking is that tomorrow, and next week, and next month we (and yes, I'm including myself) expand our levels of consciousness a little bit. Let's not forget about people who are still here making a difference in the world. We shouldn't wait until people die to celebrate what they have done and what they are still doing.

Black Don't Crack

This is a poem that I had published in The Atelier, our school's literary magazine.

Underneath these clothes lies black skin.

Black skin of a shade that never appeared on the Top 50 Sexiest List of People Magazine.

Black skin that isn’t even good enough to be objectified in a music video.

Black skin that never appeared on the faces of all those children in the books that taught me how to read.

Black skin that made me truly hope, even pray, that bleaching creams were not a myth.

Black skin that’s been called ugly, disgusting, ashy, repulsive.

Black skin that’s been compared to dirt.

Black skin for which I have been ridiculed.

Black skin with which I was born.

Black skin of which I have been taught to be ashamed.

Black skin that shows no evidence of a soul marred by internalized “-isms.”

Black skin that has taken a lifetime to love.

The Calling

Sometimes you just know when you are in the right place and doing the right thing. At the same time, you also know when you could and should be doing more or doing something differently. When I interviewed for my current teaching position, the moment I stepped foot on the campus, I knew that I would be hired because everything felt right. I had just been rejected from two doctoral programs, and I knew in my heart that this teaching position was the reason why. The idea of changing girls' lives while working in academia seemed absolutely perfect. Now that I'm teaching, after facing the challenges of being in a new place and then surviving the Winter Blues, I know that I'm doing the right thing, and I'm in the right place.

Girls who attend our school receive a top-notch education from highly qualified teachers (almost all of the 9-12 teachers have advanced degrees), and 100% of our graduates go to four-year colleges and universities. On top of creating an environment where students feel confident to be themselves and discover their abilities, our school gives teachers the freedom to develop and explore as well.

So, why do I feel conflicted? The truth is I've always felt slightly guilty about working in an independent school. Like most independent schools in the country, the school where I work comes with an expensive tuition price tag. While the school offers scholarships that can cover up to 90% of tuition, the majority of families pay SOMETHING for their daughters to attend. I know that my girls need me, but I also know that there are millions of children who do not even have the option to attend a quality school because they can't pay for education, and they live in a district with a failing school. Families should not have to pay for school for their children to have the chance at an education that will change their lives for the better.

Until this point, I have felt powerless to change the problems that I see in the public education system. After all, what am I supposed to do? Leave a job that I love and teach in a school system that's failing? Start my own school that will serve a limited number of students? Give up on teaching altogether? No. While I have no doubt that I am where I belong, I also have no doubt that I should be doing more. I have long recognized my calling to improve the lives of people all around me, to build communities and change perspectives. Instead of feeling guilty about working where I do, I am going to accept and use my talents as an educator and a writer to fight for our children, to fight for this country. I hope that if you read this you will join me in advocating for the rights of our children.

Five Jobs That Make Me Appreciate Being a Teacher

This has been a bit of a rough week in my life as a teacher. Only about three weeks into the new semester, I am already starting to feel overwhelmed. In my everyday interactions, I get the impression that people think teaching is not a difficult job. After all, we are teaching subjects that we know, so that should be pretty easy, right? Not really. As a teacher, I would say that only about 70% of my job involves actually providing instruction. The other part of the time is spent planning, going to meetings, doing after school duties, planning, and did I mention meetings? My day as a teacher does not end until I turn my brain off to get some sleep. And even then, I still confront my duties in my dreams. The difficulty in teaching lies in the fact that there is no real time clock.

So in an effort to consider alternatives before I take to complaining, I have compiled a list of other jobs with nonexistent time clocks that make better appreciate my job as a teacher.

5. Emergency Room Doctor – Even though I would take an ER doctor’s salary any day, I love my sleep. I love my Saturdays and my summers. If you work in the ER, not only do you not get summers or Saturdays off, you are obligated to be on-call. So you might have to leave in the middle of dinner, your favorite t.v. show, or even in the middle of rare significant other quality time. Not cool. I’m sure I could find time to spend the money if I were an ER doctor, but I am glad not to have a job where I am on call. I can turn my phone off and avoid my email like the plague.

4. Airline pilot – Many airline pilots are overworked and underpaid, kind of like teachers. ☺ Again, being an airline pilot would interfere with my quality sleeping time. I cannot remember being on a flight that was longer than an hour that didn’t make me fall asleep. But airline pilots can’t sleep on the flights, at least not according to their job descriptions. Pilots have to be alert and more importantly, they have to fly big ass planes with hundreds of passengers. No thanks.

3. Soldier – I think this goes without saying. Soldiers belong to an entity other than themselves. If they move up in rank, the pay is decent, but they pretty much have to go to war to get those top ranking positions. Even though I put my sanity at risk everyday by working as a teacher, I cannot imagine having to go out onto a physical battlefield with guns, bombs, and people trained to use those weapons effectively. I know that many soldiers make it out of war physically intact, but many don’t. Among those soldiers who make it home, many suffer from mental disturbances I would not wish on anyone. Hats off to the soldiers (and I mean soldiers in the actual military, not people from the ‘hood who are fighting for nothing).

2. President of the United States – Whether you love or hate President Obama, G-Dub, or Bill Clinton, you have to admit, the job of being the president is pretty damn hard. Talk about a job without a time clock. There are over 300 million people in this country who deserve protection under the constitution. Imagine having to be the person to make decisions like Harry Truman. Imagine having to figure out how to find money for programs to get the country out of a recession or a depression. I don’t even like balancing my own checking account, so I definitely would not want to balance a budget in an numerical range that I can’t even count to. (I mean I could if I tried, but I’m a teacher; I don’t have time for that). I don’t always agree with everything the president does, but I’m sure glad I’m not the one making those decisions.

1. Parent – This is the hardest job ever. At some point in life, I will take on this task, but right now I am content to not have to drop whatever I’m doing to tend to a person that I brought into the world. Being a parent never ends. You can retire from all of the other jobs on this list or quit them, but you can never quit being a parent. Even if you stop taking care of your responsibilities, being a parent is eternal. Taking care of a child is no walk in the park. Even if you have a well-behaved, obedient child, you still have to think about protecting that child from harm and comforting the child when you can’t protect her/him from everything. Making the decision to be a parent should not be taken lightly, and I have the utmost respect for parents who care about their children and have taken on this lifelong career with no time clock.

The Illusion of Post-Racialism

One of my favorite publications for updates on news and issues relevant to the black community is The Root. Earlier this week I found myself perusing the website for hours and an article entitled "Race Card Fraud" by Thomas Sowell caught my attention. Sowell's article begins with condemnation of the NAACP for claiming the Tea Party is racist. Now, I am not writing to speak on my feelings about the NAACP or to discuss whether or not I agree with the organization's allegations against the Tea Party. Instead, I would like to address Sowell's suggestions that President Obama is somehow hurting our country's racial climate.

According to Sowell:

"Among people who voted for Barack Obama in 2008, those who are likely to be most disappointed are those who thought that they were voting for a new post-racial era."

Upon reading this statement I wondered: How many black people (and ethnic minorities in general) voted for Obama because they thought we were moving into a POST-RACIAL era?

In order to understand why I take issue with Sowell's assumptions about Obama and post-racialism, let me explain how I feel about the term post-racial. On the surface, the term may sound inviting. However, despite a supposed emphasis on lack of racial differences, I feel the philosophy behind post-racialism shares the same laissez-faire racist attitudes of "colorblindness." In other words, post-racialism masks itself as equality when really the goal is to make privileged people feel less guilty about their advantages over everyone else. This ideology can be deemed racist because it trivializes the social meaning of skin color in our society. Therefore, the post-racial society of which Sowell speaks is one where black people and other oppressed minority groups will finally just shut the hell up about discrimination because no one "sees" race anymore. In a TRUE "post-racial" society, people would not be offered privileges or denied privileges based on skin color. While that situation would be ideal, it would be almost impossible in this country. Before we reach post-racial status, we have to acknowledge that racial inequality STILL exists in 2010 even though we have a black president. Minorities (not just blacks) DO NOT have EQUAL (and I stress the word EQUAL) access to opportunity.

Sowell goes on to discuss how Obama is clearly the opposite of the post-racial President his supporters thought he would have been:

"There is not now, nor has there ever been, anything post-racial about Barack Obama, except for the people who voted for him in the mistaken belief that he shared their desire to be post-racial. When he leaves office, especially if it is after one term, he will leave this country more racially polarized than before."

Can we really blame racial polarization on Obama? Is Sowell serious? I'm no historian (at least not a professional one), but I would argue that indigenous genocide, slavery, and the systemic oppression of minority groups have contributed more to racial polarization than ONE BLACK PRESIDENT who has been in office for less than two years! I think that Obama's presidency has resurfaced racial tensions because oppressors are afraid that Obama will empower the oppressed, and the oppressed are afraid that he won't. I do not believe we can fault Obama for equality struggles as old as this country.

Ultimately, I feel post-racialism in our country's present state remains an illusion. Before we can move to a POST-racial era, we must address and offer valid solutions within the RACIAL era (right now) in which society assigns social advantages and disadvantages according to racial groups.

The Master's House

The first time I ever read anything by Audre Lorde was during the summer of 2005 when I participated in a research program. In almost five years, I have never forgotten one particular line in one of her essays, "The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house."

Around this time last year I remember watching Obama's inauguration and the overwhelming sense of pride I felt watching all of those people stand outside in the freezing cold just to see Obama take his place in this country's history. I also remember saying that we had to be careful not to look at Obama as a political magician who would somehow wave a magic wand and fix everything that is wrong with this country. In the last two weeks I have read various commentaries about how many black people have expressed disappointment in the fact that Obama has not addressed race issues since he has been in office. Many of these critics believe that Obama is in a unique position to help black Americans since he is the President and he is black. Disillusioned voters feel that their high hopes have not been fulfilled.

I have to admit, I loved watching Obama during the elections. I found his speeches inspiring, and I even bought into the "Yes We Can" rhetoric. At the same time, I knew that Audre Lorde's statement would hold true - black president or not. "The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." In other words, it seems that the black people who had such high hopes that Obama would address race issues want to see radical change in how this country treats its black population. But we must remember that Obama CHOSE to run for president of this country, which means that for the most part, he is happy with the government structure the way it is. While he may want to make a few policy changes here and there, his goal in running for president was to live in "the master's house" - to be in charge of our so-called democratic nation. Unless Obama plans to pull a Fidel Castro I think it's safe to say that he does not intend to make any real changes to the government structure.

Beneath Obama's "Yes WE Can" lies the more subtle "No I can't." As president, Obama CAN'T revolutionize the treatment of black America. "Democracy" means that the majority rules, and the majority doesn't give a (insert four letter word of choice) about black America. As the leader of this democratic system, Obama cannot ignore the majority and therefore cannot address black issues on a national level even if he wants to on a personal level.

I do not intend this blog as a dis to Obama. I'm just pointing out that revolution does not occur within an already corrupted system.

Warning: N*ggers on Twitter!!

Surprise, surprise people are being prejudiced on twitter!

Actually, I'm not all that shocked, offended, but not shocked. According to an article posted on www.bvblackspin.com, apparently some people found the fact that the BET Awards made it to the trending topics on Twitter quite disconcerting. These small minded people felt America should not waste its time tweeting about Negroes, and yes, one person actually said "wow too many negros (note the incorrect spelling) in the trending topics for me, I may be done with this whole twitter thing."

Long before Twitter even became popular, the BET Awards have always had a buzz in the black community. Even though often times we are not necessarily pleased with these shows, we watch them to stay in the black loop. This year, the BET awards were especially anticipated because of the death of Michael Jackson. With the Awards occurring so soon after Jackson's death, BET seized the opportunity to make the show a tribute his life. Black people who are Michael Jackson fans expected this award show to be dynamic and were looking forward to the celebration of an icon of the music industry. Even though Michael Jackson undoubtedly had fans of all races and cultures, black people felt particularly connected to this star who influenced much of our musical culture. Black folks were just plain excited.

Unfortunately black people, we've expended all of our opportunities to be excited for this year. They excused us during Obama's inauguration and Black History Month, but when it comes to popular culture and entertainment, we should be quiet. When so many people on Twitter started talking about the BET Awards and the black people who were a part of those awards, others (mainly white people) were upset. In response to the overwhelming number of black people in the trending topics one tweeter wrote, "I don't think this is a very good neighborhood. Lock the doors kids." Really? Based on the comments of this person and others instigating the whole "Negro conversation," black people need to have our own separate Twitter just like we have our own separate television stations so that others do not have to be bothered with anything going on in our trivial little world.

I understand that the BET Awards are not important in the grand scheme of things, but neither are iphones or movie releases, and other ridiculous topics that have made their ways to the trending topics on Twitter. People want to discuss popular culture, that's why it's POPULAR. I'm sure that if the Oscars, Grammys, or MTV awards were in the trending topics, that would be okay. It's just that when too many "niggers" start talking people get offended and afraid.

How to Love...Yourself

For many people, self-acceptance can be a lifelong journey. For the majority of my life, I have battled with my image and trying to love and appreciate the body I see in the mirror as much as the personality who accompanies that body. As a young child I struggled with loving my skin color and my hair texture (both of which I currently embrace to the utmost degree), but my biggest self-image obstacle by far has been my weight. To the people most important to me, my weight does not and never has mattered. But to the teenage girl and later young woman bombarded with images and standards that do not match with who I am, I often find myself on the front line of the battle for self-acceptance.

A few weeks ago, the New York Times published an article called, “Bingeing on Celebrity Weight Battles.” Other than discussing celebrities’ battles with diets that don’t work, the article emphasized how American society stigmatizes people who are not thin, or otherwise called fat. Our society villainizes overweight people and attributes their weight to greediness or lack of motivation to lose weight. Such stigmas normalize discrimination and/or prejudice directed toward overweight people. Even those who have finally come to terms with the fact that they may never be thin can resort to a type of self-loathing and destructive criticism.

While I do support living a healthy lifestlye, I’m sure we’ve all learned in a health class at one point or another that being healthy means more than having a thin body. In actuality, being healthy does not necessarily require or produce a thin body. Sustaining a healthy body calls for developing and nurturing a healthy mindset and a healthy spirit, which can be complicated by societal standards and stigmas along with economic motives of those who profit from our insecurities.

I admit, ignoring media is impossible and futile. However looking at your reflection everyday and recognizing that you are just as beautiful (maybe more) as any starved media icon will open the door to self-acceptance. I want to live a healthier life, and if I lose weight as a result, fine. If not, that’s fine too. Losing weight is not worth losing me because after all the tears, angry diary entries, and edging on the brink of insanity, I do love me.

Education Woes

We cannot continue overlooking problems and think they will disappear. Last week, I began a new job as a math tutor in an elementary school. I enjoy working with my students, but I cannot ignore my issues with the teaching style prevalent at this school (and many other schools). Our students are being tested to death, and teachers are no longer teaching students. They are teaching tests. Therefore, our students are not learning how to think critically. They are only learning process of elimination, and some of them aren’t even learning that.

Test taking skills are valuable. You will need strategies when taking standardized tests that are meant to trip you up. These skills will help our students pass the abundance of tests they will take during their school careers, but they are not preparing students for college or the real world. Jobs, no matter how menial, require thinking beyond letters and bubble sheets. As far as college preparation, of the 133 credit hours I took in undergrad, I remember taking five classes at the most that had multiple choice tests, and they were difficult. I’m not completely opposed to multiple choice tests, but students need to develop skills beyond “slash and circle.”

I think there is an overall lack of agency surrounding the issue of public education in this country. Right now, people are so consumed with the economy, and for good reason. Unfortunately, it seems that there’s no room to advocate for students. Well, this is the truth: If we continue to ignore the fact that these tests are ruining our students’ critical thinking capability we can forget about ever coming out of this recession. What kinds of jobs will these children be qualified to do? Our natural resources are running out. The earth is becoming more crowded. People need food, medicine, and sustainable development. We need to be developing the next generation of problem solvers. This world is changing, and if we don’t get with it, we are going to get lost.

Passion vs. Goals II

To embark upon a soul-searching journey is to ask challenging questions and come to grips with sometimes harsh realities. However daunting, the process is worthwhile.

In the previous post, I shared some of my frustrations with trying to pick a career path. Sitting around waiting for the light bulb to finally come on was stressing me out. In the meantime, I was driving myself crazy, literally, and not really paying attention to how my neurosis was affecting other people.

When I was in undergrad, I used to attend all these events. I knew too many professors, and they were always inviting me to things. (Actually, you can never know to many professors if you plan on pursuing a career in academia, and you must accept their invitations so you can meet more professors.) Anyway, at one of these events each professor in the History department was asked to give words of wisdom to the graduating students. The only line of advice I remember from that day was, "Don't become obsessed."

I wanted so badly to follow that advice, but I think I was already to deep in my own obsessions to truly believe in anything different. Even though I have learned to deal with my perfectionism to some degree, I am still obsessive - mostly because there are so many things in my life that lie beyond my control.

Rational people know that stressing over things you can't control makes no sense. I, however, do not fall into that category of rational people. I used to be very rational before I ever flirted with the idea that I can make a career out of something I enjoy rather than being confined to the typical career paths I had previously envisioned. Passion has made me irrational, or at least my romanticized perception of passion.

Somehow, I developed the illusion that if I was passionate about something, everything would flow nicely. For example, if I was passionate about building homeless shelters, I would love every aspect of a job that allowed me to do what I love. People are quick to use that cliche, "If you find something you truly love, you will never work a day in your life." Well, that's the kind of bull contributing to my delusional views of passion. In reality, pursuing one's passion can be highly time-consuming, costly, and stressful. People who want to be doctors have to endure medical school first, and no matter how smart they are or how badly they want to be doctors, there are parts of medical school that they hate. This applies to any profession.

Aside from delusion, trying to live up to expectations outside of your own creates emotional tension as well. As I reflect upon decisions I've made in the past regarding how to best pursue my passion, listening to other people caused me to miss out on some training that could have been beneficial. I don't regret my decisions because I have learned invaluable lessons about myself and other people. Actually, it's only through realizing how much others' expectations affect me that I've been able to understand why my I found myself in such a state of instability.

I plan to continue working through my anxieties concerning my career and my future. I know that God has been opening my eyes, my heart, and my mind and helping me build confidence in my ability and my judgment. I will join the ranks of the rational once again, but I'm bringing my passion with me.

Passion(s) vs. Goals

In an effort to deal with my procrastination problem, I checked out a book a few months ago. I don't remember the name of it, but the authors of the book pointed out some reasons why people procrastinate. As I read this book I reflected upon when my procrastination problem began to spin out of control, which led me to a self-evaluation of sorts. Over the past few months I have been doing a lot of writing (though some of that I'm not sharing without a copyright) as a means of both analysis and catharsis. This is just another piece of my cathartic process.

A couple of years ago, I was having a conversation with my best friend about goals and passion(s), and I remember saying to her that I could not understand how a person could live life without passion(s). Now, I'm not saying that she lacks passion(s); she clearly enjoys life. However, at the time I felt that she lacked goals and offered that as an explanation for why things in her life seemed so confusing. But now, two years later, I understand exactly why she was so conflicted by being caught in a tug-of-war between her own heart and everyone else's expectations.

At the time of our conversation, I was confusing passion(s) and goals. My assumption, in my naivety, was that if you could discover the things you are passionate about, then the goals would automatically exist. I've learned that, at least for me, this isn't true. There's a difference between something you like to do, a hobby, and something you plan to do, a goal. Even though I have discovered and developed my values and passions, I don't have any career goals that involve a concrete employment field or even a job title. I know that may sound silly, but I'm beginning to realize that throughout undergraduate school, I never had a career goal - only suggestions from others.

Recently, I've been trying to figure out what kind of career would make me happy. When I started teaching last year (currently I am not teaching), I went into the profession with an open mind. Teaching was not what I had planned to do with my life, but I actually hadn't PLANNED anything. I remember several people including former professors, friends, and some family members saying to me, "You're too smart to be a teacher." Now, while I appreciate the compliment and somewhat understand their intent, what exactly am I supposed to do with that? Become a rocket scientist? What kind of job does a "smart person" have? And even though many of my former colleagues are not smart (I won't call names), some of them are (shout out to Jessica and Keith). And wouldn't you rather a smart person teach your children than a person who is just average or below? I am not saying that I definitely want to be a teacher, but I am also not saying I definitely don't. If do decide to go back into the education field or if I decide to work in another profession, I don't want people to look down on me as if I'm settling. Better yet, I have to stop caring whether or not they think I'm settling.

After much thought, I'm still not all that sure what career I would like to have. I don't plan to stress over it any further. I do know that I would like for my passions and my goals (whatever they may be) to cross paths sometimes. Even though pursuing my passions in a career would be ideal, I realize that all of my many interests might not be addressed in a job setting, and passion does not always have to take the form of a career. Whatever decision I make will be my own. I have at least learned that much.

A Reflection on the Year's Biggest Event Thus Far

I realize that I had not done a post in 2009. I was going to do a New Year's Resolution post, but resolutions are kind of out of style, and my resolutions for this year are kind of personal. I also realize that my last few posts have been a little on the sarcastic side. While I plan to keep those witty ones coming, I want to use this post to reflect on the inauguration of Barack Obama.

Now, I know that millions of people have blogged about this same topic with various points, compliments, and maybe even insults. My original intent was to publish a post about the inauguration on Wednesday, but now I see why I have waited.

Today, I attended a Brown Bag discussion at my university where one of my professors was giving a talk about Barack Obama. Obviously, he discussed Obama's inauguration, but the thesis of his presentation was about Obama's book Dreams From My Father. The professor's main goal was to project the idea and concept of bi-culturalism in Obama's work and to interpret Obama's journey in self-identity as a Black man.

At the end of the discussion, a woman of mixed heritage, like Obama, discussed how she felt disappointed by the fact that media referred to Barack Obama as African-American throughout the inauguration coverage without acknowledging the fact that his mother is white. Later on, a friend of mine mentioned this same issue, and so now I want to provide my response to that.

I have to admit, in my wanting to claim Barack Obama (and Michelle Obama) as a product of Black progress, I felt offended that people would try to minimize such a huge moment in Black history. But then, I reflected upon my emotional response to their sentiments and realized that in my desire to only see the black side of Obama, I am belittling and minimizing the experiences of biracial/multiracial people. That is not what I aim to do at all, and so even though I did not actually say anything about my monopolizing Obama's blackness to these individuals, I want to apologize for my short-sighted response.

Now, please don't get it twisted. I take pride in Obama's election, and I take pride in the Obama family living in the White House as a Black family. While I understand Obama's genetic and cultural heritage, I feel that because a significant part of his heritage and self-identity is Black that he represents, and if not represents, understands my struggles/issues/concerns as a Black person. In his book, Dreams From My Father, Obama does not deny his white lineage. At the same time his identity struggles have been based on the conflict between his outer appearance and his genetic reality. Biologically, race does not exist. Genetically, there are more differences between fruit flies than there are between humans. But socially, race exists and it matters. When people SEE Obama for the first time, they do not SEE his white mother. They SEE his brown skin. That is the reality of our society.

With all that said, the fact that people are even engaging in this conversation proves that we are NOT in a post-racial society as the media so often inaccurately report. Race still matters, and it should, but in a way that celebrates culture, not in a way that ignores and/or erases culture.

Airport Ettiquette

So, many of us are (or have been) traveling this holiday season, and we all know how interesting the airport can be. Some things, such as delays and cancellations, are really out of our control. We cannot control the weather or the planes' functionality, so those things we just have to suck up. However there are things that we can control, and I would like to touch on those a little.

1. If your plane leaves at 9:50, and you get to the gate at 9:40 and the door to the plane has closed, you are NOT early. Please do not scream to the top of your lungs about how it's not fair that you missed your plane because you were in the airport since 4:30 in the morning. No one cares. However, we are all going to be uneasy about the fact that you are making a scene. There is no need to curse and call people names because you can't tell time or do math.

2. Please try to wear as little cologne or perfume as possible, especially if it smells like bug spray. I know you want to smell good when you get to your final destination, but no one else wants to smell you. And once the smells start mixing together, that can cause some serious stomach upsets. So please, keep the fragrances to yourselves or at least wait until you are in a more ventilated area.

3. Please control your children. I love children, and I think they can be really cute and funny. I do not love when children are running through the airport like it's a playground, bumping into me and stepping on my feet, and kicking my seat on the airplane. Teach your children some manners BEFORE you arrive at the airport.

These are just a few pointers that will make everyone's trip more pleasant. Thanks.

Santa Claus is NOT coming to town!

I know that some people are going to be mad at me for writing this, but I believe in the truth.

When I was younger, I used to get very excited about Christmas. All the seasonal music and decorations gave me that cliche warm, fuzzy feeling inside. I loved to go Christmas shopping and picking out the perfect gift for those close to me, and I won't lie; I also used to love receiving those perfect gifts.

Now, I am not completely anti-Christmas. I do enjoy the celebrations and family gatherings. But looking at how commercialized and fake Christmas has become (or has always been, and I just never noticed) literally disgusts me. What annoys me the most is how people lie to their children about Santa Claus and have them sit on his lap at the mall and ask for Christmas gifts. The myth of Santa Claus places unnecessary pressure on parents/guardians to buy certain gifts for their children that they may not be able to afford.

Hypothetical situation (and I know that's a fragment, but work with me). Little Johnny makes straight A's in school, never talks back to his parents, and does all his chores. Meanwhile, Tom fails all of his classes, curses at his parents, and mutilates neighborhood pets. Johnny asks Santa for a bike and Tom does too. Johnny doesn't get a bike because his parents just don't have that kind of money this year. Tom's parents are swimming in money, so he gets a bike, a Wii, and a whole bunch of other stuff that he will never use. Where is the justice in that Santa? I know that money is not an issue for everyone, and I am not suggesting that people who are economically stable should not buy their children nice gifts. But if we are going attribute the gift-giving to Santa and his little list, then we should change "naughty" and "nice" to "rich" and "poor." An even better suggestion is to stop lying about Santa.

Some people will say, "Well Santa is a part of a tradition." So was slavery. That doesn't make it right. Telling children that Santa doesn't exist will not rob them of their innocence. There's nothing innocent about a man who gives gifts based on income.

Others might say "Well, you have to make sacrifices for your children." I speak from personal experience, my mother may have paid for my Christmas gifts by sacrificing paying bills, but I would rather her not be in debt trying to "play Santa." Children inherit the debt of their parents, so would you rather your children inherit your debt or inherit your love and values?

Think about it.

“I See Your True Colors Shinin’ Through….”

In the words of Nas: “If this offends you, then it’s supposed to.”

Five days ago, the United States elected its first Black President, and I am very proud. Unfortunately, I feel that this election has brought out the worst in some people. I’m hoping that these bigots represent an exception, after all, Obama did win by a large margin. However, based on my experiences (both first and second hand) during this past week, I’m not inclined to believe that things have changed.

On Wednesday, I was so excited especially after talking to my grandparents. I remember my grandfather telling me a story of how he had to take literacy tests when he first started voting. To hear the excitement in his voice after the election made me feel so great. I wanted to share his story with the world, but there was no outlet for me to do so. That same night, I went to class (in which I am one of two Black people), and everyone was so hesitant to talk about the election. My professor (an Obama supporter) tried to bring it up, but most of the people had nothing to say. I felt silenced by everyone else’s animosity, and I felt like that the whole week.

I am tired of being quiet. I refuse to be silenced by the hatred and ignorance of bigots. This country was built on the backs and by the hands of my BLACK ancestors, and they did not give me the freedom to speak so that you could take it away with your racist sentiments. I don’t care what you think about me voting for Barack Obama. I want you to see the smile on my face. You bigots deserve to be angry and disappointed. We’ve experienced lifetimes (yes multiple) of anger and disappointment.

So to “my friends” who are salty about the election, thank you for showing me your true colors.

America's Victory and Our Responsibility

As I reflect upon this historical moment, I feel an overwhelming sense of pride and love for my black people, but also for my country. I have never really considered myself a patriot, but tonight I can say that I’m proud to be an American.

Barack Obama’s victory is definitely a victory for all of us – blacks and all minorities, whites, children, women, men. The fact that a black man is now President of a predominantly white country speaks to the progress that our country has made, and for that, I am particularly elated.
My emotions are great, but so is my grounding in reality. I do not mean any of this to take away from the greatness of what we have all witnessed on November 4, 2008. However, we as black people need to make sure that we do not place unrealistic expectations on our President. I am not saying that he should forget about us. But he has a lot of people to keep in mind because we are not the only ones struggling in this country.

Often times we place too much responsibility on our leaders and none on ourselves. Yes, we voted, but that’s only a part of the process of change. We cannot expect Obama to fix an eight-year mess overnight. We also cannot expect him to do it alone. I heard one media personality say that we should make sure that we hold Obama to his promises, and we should. But we should not hold him to unrealistic demands. For example, we are not getting reparations, and we need to let that go. Instead we should focus on community building and our role in helping Obama bring about change.

What worries me most about the responses of some of my peers to this election is their misinformed (or uninformed) perception that racism is over now. We do not need to become complacent. Racism is not over. We should look at our progress toward equality as marathon, not a 200 meter dash. We have come a long way in the race (no pun intended), but we still have a long way to go. The worst thing we can do is think that racism is over now because we have a black President. Instead we should use this moment as inspiration to keep running the marathon to end racism and all inequality.

No one should be expected to change the world by him/herself. I believe Obama can change the world, we have to help him. An America that is void of inequality…now that is the American Dream.

Comedy Central, Just Stop.

Despite my critical approach, I am very much a consumer of popular culture. I watch television, listen to the radio, and I am constantly on the Internet. Though I try to limit my intake of "stupid" media, I usually check out new shows to see what they are all about.



Comedy Central has a new show called Chocolate News, and I must say it's not funny. It seems to me that the station is trying to make Chocolate News the new Chappelle's Show, but there will never be another Chappelle's Show, so stop pushing it. Chappelle's Show was funny because of the satire and sarcasm. Even though some people would not agree with his use of "the N-word" (I hate that phrase by the way), the show was funny because it brought out the absurdity of stereotypes and allowed us to all kind of make fun of ourselves and realize how ridiculous we can be sometimes.

If used correctly, negative images can be subversive and criticize society. At the same time, negative images can also serve as representation rather than criticism. When I watched Chocolate News, I did not get a sense of stereotypes being dismissed as truth. Instead, I felt like the show was trying to pass these images as authentic elements of black culture, and black culture specifically.


I know I've only seen one episode of Chocolate News, but I doubt that I will be tuning in anymore. To some people, Chocolate News and Chappelle's Show are equivalent, and if you want to accept this Chappelle rip-off, feel free. If you think that "Chocolate News" presents an equally sarcastic and or satirical approach to culture (not just black culture), that's fine too. I, however, am not convinced. You can't kill my cat and buy me another one and think I'm not going to notice.

The Eyes in the Back of Your Head

What does it mean to remember history – to keep history in your memory? I think the answer to this question lies in the distinction between distant memory and immediate memory. This thought came to me during class today. In this particular class, we are studying Judaism as a religion and a culture. Naturally, one cannot have a class devoted to the study of Judaism without covering the Holocaust.

I have been learning about the Holocaust since I was in the sixth grade, and every time I take a course that discusses this atrocity at any length, I learn something new or come to new conclusions. However, viewing images from the ghettos and concentration camps has the same effect on me each time. Each time I wonder how people could be so cruel. And each time, I reflect upon similar genocidal acts (i.e. Sudan) and my place in society as either implicitly supportive or explicitly critical of these acts.

So what does it mean to remember? Yes, I can tell you when the Nazis invaded Poland. I remember the dates of World War II. I remember the Axis and the Allies. But what does that memory mean?

I think it is easy to put tragedies in the back of our minds because things are easier if we put them in the past – behind us. By placing these things in our distant memory, we allow ourselves to overlook or disregard new tragedies that form right in front of us. We need to use the “eyes in the back of our heads” to properly put things in perspective. In other words, we need to not let things just sit in our distant memory. We need to keep history in our immediate memory so that it is readily accessible to deal with problems that are right in front of us.

Some will read this and try to compare genocides throughout history. And the purpose of this piece is not to diminish or acknowledge one particular act of genocide in relation to another. What I really want to point out is this: It is easy to ignore Sudan if WWII Europe is in our distant memory. I do not ignore the fact that there are other elements of our (the U.S.) turning a blind eye to certain countries and people who have darker skin. At the same time, I am suggesting that because we are not truly in touch with the history of this world and the interactions of its people, we do not have the proper tools to deal with the present and are facing a dismal future.

People always say those that do not know about the past are doomed to repeat it. We do know, and we still repeat it. Therefore, it’s not about knowing only. We must have an immediate memory that allows us to apply history to the present, critique the mistakes, and bring about peace. We must have eyes in the back of our heads. Only then will we avoid repeating the tragedies of the past.