Black Don't Crack

This is a poem that I had published in The Atelier, our school's literary magazine.

Underneath these clothes lies black skin.

Black skin of a shade that never appeared on the Top 50 Sexiest List of People Magazine.

Black skin that isn’t even good enough to be objectified in a music video.

Black skin that never appeared on the faces of all those children in the books that taught me how to read.

Black skin that made me truly hope, even pray, that bleaching creams were not a myth.

Black skin that’s been called ugly, disgusting, ashy, repulsive.

Black skin that’s been compared to dirt.

Black skin for which I have been ridiculed.

Black skin with which I was born.

Black skin of which I have been taught to be ashamed.

Black skin that shows no evidence of a soul marred by internalized “-isms.”

Black skin that has taken a lifetime to love.

The Calling

Sometimes you just know when you are in the right place and doing the right thing. At the same time, you also know when you could and should be doing more or doing something differently. When I interviewed for my current teaching position, the moment I stepped foot on the campus, I knew that I would be hired because everything felt right. I had just been rejected from two doctoral programs, and I knew in my heart that this teaching position was the reason why. The idea of changing girls' lives while working in academia seemed absolutely perfect. Now that I'm teaching, after facing the challenges of being in a new place and then surviving the Winter Blues, I know that I'm doing the right thing, and I'm in the right place.

Girls who attend our school receive a top-notch education from highly qualified teachers (almost all of the 9-12 teachers have advanced degrees), and 100% of our graduates go to four-year colleges and universities. On top of creating an environment where students feel confident to be themselves and discover their abilities, our school gives teachers the freedom to develop and explore as well.

So, why do I feel conflicted? The truth is I've always felt slightly guilty about working in an independent school. Like most independent schools in the country, the school where I work comes with an expensive tuition price tag. While the school offers scholarships that can cover up to 90% of tuition, the majority of families pay SOMETHING for their daughters to attend. I know that my girls need me, but I also know that there are millions of children who do not even have the option to attend a quality school because they can't pay for education, and they live in a district with a failing school. Families should not have to pay for school for their children to have the chance at an education that will change their lives for the better.

Until this point, I have felt powerless to change the problems that I see in the public education system. After all, what am I supposed to do? Leave a job that I love and teach in a school system that's failing? Start my own school that will serve a limited number of students? Give up on teaching altogether? No. While I have no doubt that I am where I belong, I also have no doubt that I should be doing more. I have long recognized my calling to improve the lives of people all around me, to build communities and change perspectives. Instead of feeling guilty about working where I do, I am going to accept and use my talents as an educator and a writer to fight for our children, to fight for this country. I hope that if you read this you will join me in advocating for the rights of our children.

Five Jobs That Make Me Appreciate Being a Teacher

This has been a bit of a rough week in my life as a teacher. Only about three weeks into the new semester, I am already starting to feel overwhelmed. In my everyday interactions, I get the impression that people think teaching is not a difficult job. After all, we are teaching subjects that we know, so that should be pretty easy, right? Not really. As a teacher, I would say that only about 70% of my job involves actually providing instruction. The other part of the time is spent planning, going to meetings, doing after school duties, planning, and did I mention meetings? My day as a teacher does not end until I turn my brain off to get some sleep. And even then, I still confront my duties in my dreams. The difficulty in teaching lies in the fact that there is no real time clock.

So in an effort to consider alternatives before I take to complaining, I have compiled a list of other jobs with nonexistent time clocks that make better appreciate my job as a teacher.

5. Emergency Room Doctor – Even though I would take an ER doctor’s salary any day, I love my sleep. I love my Saturdays and my summers. If you work in the ER, not only do you not get summers or Saturdays off, you are obligated to be on-call. So you might have to leave in the middle of dinner, your favorite t.v. show, or even in the middle of rare significant other quality time. Not cool. I’m sure I could find time to spend the money if I were an ER doctor, but I am glad not to have a job where I am on call. I can turn my phone off and avoid my email like the plague.

4. Airline pilot – Many airline pilots are overworked and underpaid, kind of like teachers. ☺ Again, being an airline pilot would interfere with my quality sleeping time. I cannot remember being on a flight that was longer than an hour that didn’t make me fall asleep. But airline pilots can’t sleep on the flights, at least not according to their job descriptions. Pilots have to be alert and more importantly, they have to fly big ass planes with hundreds of passengers. No thanks.

3. Soldier – I think this goes without saying. Soldiers belong to an entity other than themselves. If they move up in rank, the pay is decent, but they pretty much have to go to war to get those top ranking positions. Even though I put my sanity at risk everyday by working as a teacher, I cannot imagine having to go out onto a physical battlefield with guns, bombs, and people trained to use those weapons effectively. I know that many soldiers make it out of war physically intact, but many don’t. Among those soldiers who make it home, many suffer from mental disturbances I would not wish on anyone. Hats off to the soldiers (and I mean soldiers in the actual military, not people from the ‘hood who are fighting for nothing).

2. President of the United States – Whether you love or hate President Obama, G-Dub, or Bill Clinton, you have to admit, the job of being the president is pretty damn hard. Talk about a job without a time clock. There are over 300 million people in this country who deserve protection under the constitution. Imagine having to be the person to make decisions like Harry Truman. Imagine having to figure out how to find money for programs to get the country out of a recession or a depression. I don’t even like balancing my own checking account, so I definitely would not want to balance a budget in an numerical range that I can’t even count to. (I mean I could if I tried, but I’m a teacher; I don’t have time for that). I don’t always agree with everything the president does, but I’m sure glad I’m not the one making those decisions.

1. Parent – This is the hardest job ever. At some point in life, I will take on this task, but right now I am content to not have to drop whatever I’m doing to tend to a person that I brought into the world. Being a parent never ends. You can retire from all of the other jobs on this list or quit them, but you can never quit being a parent. Even if you stop taking care of your responsibilities, being a parent is eternal. Taking care of a child is no walk in the park. Even if you have a well-behaved, obedient child, you still have to think about protecting that child from harm and comforting the child when you can’t protect her/him from everything. Making the decision to be a parent should not be taken lightly, and I have the utmost respect for parents who care about their children and have taken on this lifelong career with no time clock.